Why does my fucking sister have to be so meddling? Jeezus.. She goes and IMs ________ to 'GO OUT WITH MY SISTER!' Fucking middle school kids with shit for brains. And now I have to remedy it. It'll be weird for awhile. Ugh. Stupid Donna. What part of 'he's got a girlfriend' doesn't she understand? *mutter*

Lazy spring break days. MmMMmm. Lying in my sunday clothes on the couch, half-watching Loser, half-websurfing. Relating to movie. Vaguely. Lalala. Lazy day. Sorta uncomfortable. Bad part about laptops.

Prom. It's two months away, I know. But as I have no options for a date... I had been worried about this before, but Emi (on her blog) reminded me once again.

Ok. Not to sound egotistical, but this is what all my friends insist. I'm cute, talented, funny, etc -- all those good things. Then, why the hell don't I ever get asked out? Or asked to Prom or something? Why is it so hard for me to find a boyfriend, or even merely a date to prom? See. And my friends wonder why I don't believe/agree with them. Really, I swear it's just that they're obliged to say stuff like that. :/ Oh well.

Wanted -- prom date. Must have the capacity to dance without embarrassing me or self aaaaand hold good conversations. After that, no preferences.

I swear. It is the chase that entices me so. OF COURSE, I don't choose a nice, willing single guy to fall for, after David. Now, it's a taken bastard.

Heh. Felt like ranting a bit. On rereading my blog, I can't tell.. but I hope I've matured. That and I did not include either of the '3:30' incidents. Or the getting caught. I just might have to start a new, *private* blog. So I can review and reminisce..

Incredible physical attraction. Plus, he makes me laugh and he's sweet. I get along pretty well with him. And the horny bastard part is fun too. ;)
Heh. Well whatever. I figure I will realize his faults sometime. Or find someone new. In the meantime, trying not to hurt too much.

Cooolllleeeegge!

Second day of spring break. I wish I had somewhere to go. Or at least someone to hang out with. But either they're away/dun really want to hang out with them or I want to hang out but wouldn't know what to do.

I know one person I want to hang out with.

We were supposed to go ice skating last night. But apparently you needed to be at least eighteen. (Whaaaaaa-?) So a bunch of the group couldn't ice skate so we had to make alternative plans. Meanwhile, I had developed a nasty stomachache. Puked too. In front of some random person's car. Nasty shit there. I hate puking. The group decided to go to one of their houses, near mine actually. But I didn't really want to go. I would have gone if _______ had decided to go... but really it was too far for him. But as it was, I just went home. It was disappointing.

I had hung out at Noah's house prior to heading over to Jess's. We talked and talked and talked. It was cool. I think it's great to have these guy friends whom I can just pop by for a visit and just chat. He said that at Blair, people don't really do that. Meaning, just a guy hanging out (friendly-like) with a girl, alone. I think it's nice. Without the pressure of a relationship. And then I went over to Jess's. Found out that _________ didn't want to go ice skating and felt disappointed. Come to think of it, feeling low and queasy and disappointed might have contributed to that stomach ache. Cause I was all tense and everything. Yuck. But he showed up anyway. He felt a little bad when he heard over the phone the disappointment in my tone of voice. I feel bad about that but I'm glad he showed up. I like it when he's around.

He had done something to his hair. Gelled it, or something, according to Jess. Jess thinks he looks sooooo hot when he does. Heh. Personally, he looks good all the time. Hahah. Well, whatever. I wish last night turned out better. I really was looking forward to it so much. But always next time, hm? :-/

Good mood again. Shopping and finding the nicest shirts apparently does that to me.

Friday was cool. I live at school...
Heh, that rhymes.
There was a rehearsal for Damn Yankees, but for most of that I was rehearsing with the Estrojets. And then I lounged around. Then Estrojets again. Then Midyear Concert -- first performance for Estrojets! Woo! Afterwards, Kenny, Mara, David, his girlfriend Jen, Jen's friend Laura (?), Hank, Ari (back from college), Sherry, Jess, Jess's friend Sara, Rachel, and I went to Silver Diner. It was fun. Brett Beach-Kimball was back! He was at the diner and saw us come in and popped over to say hello. He had grown out his hair. Jess liked it. Enh, I didn't. I maintain that I go for guys with short and spiky hair. But that's alright. He's still cool. It was great.

And then yesterday... I wasn't feeling well enough for Mehrnoush's workshop thing. Not up for dancing, not to mention driving. I felt better later on, too late for the workshop :(. So I went shopping with Jess. Found three great shirts, two of which are definitely cast party deals. The yellow one (which I'm chilling in temporarily atm -- b/c I love it so much) is flowery and has these really cool sleeves. The white one, in somewhat exaggerated detail, is like a bra with lace to make up the rest of the shirt. The black one is one strap and is cut to show a bit of my midriff and side. Cast party shirts, I think. Heehee.

Spring break in three days not including today. Woohoo! And I'll be going ice skating on Thursday! Bestest of moods again!

Lately, been feeling blah. Not necessarily bad. Generally bored with life. Tho did get caught with pants down today. Hrm.

Yea. Blah-ness. School tomorrow. Yuck.

Lovely weather last night. Perfect weather. Even in the evening. After rehearsal, went to starbucks with Lara, Mara, and Mehrnoush. That was okay. Then hung around a little with ______ (I'm thinking I should leave him unnamed). I liked that. It was fun. No, don't think perverted thoughts. We just walked around the neighborhood and sat in a playground and talked. It was nice.

I have to say, I kept wishing that he was not taken. Especially on a night like last night. Ugh. I choose the wrong men to become attracted to. Well, at the very least, last night was proof that we don't have to be all lust. We are capable of being completely platonic good friends. We don't always have to be all up on each other in order to have a friendly relationship. It's a good thing. I mean, he does have a girlfriend after all. And if we couldn't just be friends, there would be bad unnecessary pressure.

Ranting.

Just an update for any readers... No internet for a month. Want a fuller explanation? Come talk to me. In case you're really dense, what 'no internet' means is that I won't be blogging for awhile, nor checking my email, noooor chatting. :(

Oh well.

I wish he was mine. :P Oh well. Friends = good enough.

I haven't been posting. Mainly because I haven't really had much of anything to say. I mean, I do have stuff to say... I just feel I have to censor now.

I know, *gasp*. But I figure I'm allowed to keep some secrets.

Not a surprise, I knew that my great mood wouldn't last. It's not the drastic depression like before. Just a bit down. Subdued. Probably a side-effect from the sickness/fatigue. Still sucks no matter what it is.

I need to get my appetite back. Somewhat painful to have to force myself to eat.

Glah. I need to stop pushing myself so hard. I think I just made myself even sicker. What -- I have cramps, light-headed, almost feverish, congestion, runny nose, sore throat, and so exhausted. I had history orals today. Then I went to Noushie's workshop. I shouldn't have done that. Then I tried to do Shakespeare. Hah. Right. It got to the point where I couldn't even stand. Blaaaargh.

I took some medicine though. I wish I felt well enough to fall asleep. When I have a runny nose.. I can't sleep.