Hm.. Well, like okay. I met David's best friend, Noah, online last Tuesday. He's a really nice guy. Jess says he's weird. At least too weird for her. This saturday, he and I are going to watch a movie. No, it's not a date.

Although he did insist on sitting in the back... and said I may have to comfort him if he gets scared by the dinos. (We're going to see Jurassic Park 3)

Well, whatever. It's not a date. He's probably just wants to meet me because of the David stuff. People do agree that it's suspicious though.

It's the deal that he's David's best friend that makes me uneasy about meeting him like this...

Oooh, Friday the 13th! *cower*

I'm still hung-up on the fact that David kissed me. :P Jeeze girl, it's been what, almost a month since it happened! Well, whatever. It's not like I'm obsessed... erm... Heh, I've been worse. I think. Besides, nothing has happened really. Never had the chance to talk to him. He went off to Ecuador and when he came back, I was on my own vacation. Then when I came back, he had left for a SIX week music camp! I am emanating frustration here. I mean, what if he isn't interested anymore? Ok, so like, the basic thing is that I'm impatient. Knowing David, if it goes away, it'll come back again. :P Whatever. To top it all off, I'm jealous of Jessica. She's like close friends with David. And I mean close. And so what if it has like disappeared. David had liked her back before. They were so close to getting together. Jess is gonna have a talk with them so they can return to being good friends again. It's the fact that one little different course of action taken and they would have gotten together that bothers me. Gah.

Well, whatever. I have my provisional license now so I can drive. Which is cool. By myself, I mean. But.. that's if I can get the car. :P Another cause for frustration.

And then there is Kevin. I don't know where the hell we are headed. If anywhere. We take these steps like hearing each other's voice or see eachother using webcam, or exchanging addresses. But what will it amount to anyhow. Plus, I'm much more interested in real life. In David. And so what if it doesn't work out with him. I'm tired of being online and everything. I'm tired of sitting by the computer. I care about him. But I feel like there is so much more I could be doing with my life. Like getting out.

Another thing occurred to me. I have trouble with commitment. It was a big problem when I went out with Ben. And eventually I felt smothered and wanted out of the relationship. It didn't help that I had liked David more, but whatever. And like, with Kevin. I cheated on him... It tears me apart. I want to remain loyal and everything but... See, I'm a flirt, you know? And I get bored easily too. If the guy I am with is not perfect, I become discontent. I hate that about me. So I figure if I'm ready to make a commitment right now, it'll be to David. I hope it works out. I'm very affectionate. But I hate feeling like I'm leading my guy friends on. So like I've been focusing my affection on a guy I really do like. David. :P

Whatever. I've noticed that my blog is more serious and thoughtful than some of my friends' blogs. Good or bad thing? Enh, do I care? Nope!

I've been looking for a job lately. It's so I can go to Italy with my choir. I hope I can earn at least 3 thousand dollars. I have an interview tomorrow at 5pm. Heh, so it is with Wendy's. I have applications for jobs at Annie Sez and the Dollar Store. Plus, Ross had been out of applications so... Well, whatever. I just need the money.

*sigh* I wish David was around. I wish Kev was around. :P I miss school. It's so lonely during the summer.